Here is to the girl:
Who doesn't have a enough of a backbone to stand up for herself
Who trusts easily, and is nice enough to give people the benefit of the doubt
Who stands up for what she knows is right, even when she has a room full of people telling her she's wrong
Who always seems to get her heart broken even though she does everything right to not deserve it
Who is faithful
Who wants nothing more then to be happy
To every person I've ever said the words "dump his ass, you deserve better" I'm sorry. I've finally been that girl, the one whose boyfriend treats her like complete shit and everyone reminds her of it day in and day out, but no matter what she wont leave him. The one who had to hit rock bottom and look at the bigger picture, the one who forgives but never forgets. I never thought I would have such low self esteem that I would stay with a cheater, let a lone defend one.
I know my worth, and I know now- not to settle for anything less. I'm nineteen years old and I still have my whole life ahead of me. I don't deserve to be lied to or treated like dirt. I shouldn't stay with someone who would cheat on me. All I wanted was to not be alone, but not being happy is worse. I'm not going to go searching for love, I'm gonna be single, work on me a little. I'll go on dates, talk to boys, but as far as the whole relationship ishh goes. I'm taking a lil bit of a break(:
I'm not going to lie, I'm hurting.. a lot actually but here is the thing, I could of avoided this completely. If I wasn't so stubborn and listened to every single person that cared about me, I probably wouldn't be hurting this much. Right now though.. I think I'm more numb, like it hasn't hit me yet. And the whole idea of another girl probably helps too, like it doesn't hurt as much because it makes him an ass hole maybe? I'm not sure how to explain it, all I know is that I am so happy to finally be moving on.
I almost didn't have the nerve to do it, as I was typing these words last night it was all so clear; I was going to dump him. As we were sitting in my room talking about everything, and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Talking to a girl on the phone late at night doesn't exactly count as cheating.. or calling her babe, or telling her to sleep over..?? He likes to deny, deny, deny. So he leaves, and we are still together. Then I wake up to this lovely text from a real friend "Taylor madeout with my friend while you guys were together, I thought you should know." That was the last straw. It was over.
I feel releaved in a way, I'm finally done with worrying and questioning if he really is where he says he is. He won't admit to it, which is typical. He pulled the "I would never cheat on you line" ha funny because I heard it from two different people. But this is good for me, I have dated way to many assholes in my day, a good one is bound to come my way, eventually. And closure really is all you need to move forward with your life, closure and ice cream.
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I almost didn't have the nerve to do it, as I was typing these words last night it was all so clear; I was going to dump him. As we were sitting in my room talking about everything, and I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Talking to a girl on the phone late at night doesn't exactly count as cheating.. or calling her babe, or telling her to sleep over..?? He likes to deny, deny, deny. So he leaves, and we are still together. Then I wake up to this lovely text from a real friend "Taylor madeout with my friend while you guys were together, I thought you should know." That was the last straw. It was over.
I feel releaved in a way, I'm finally done with worrying and questioning if he really is where he says he is. He won't admit to it, which is typical. He pulled the "I would never cheat on you line" ha funny because I heard it from two different people. But this is good for me, I have dated way to many assholes in my day, a good one is bound to come my way, eventually. And closure really is all you need to move forward with your life, closure and ice cream.
Shutouts;
the people that were there in my time of need
Sean: You have seriously been such a good friend, when I need a shoulder to cry on I know you'll be there. I know I can be stubborn and you haven't judged or lectured me once. You just told me my worth and didn't sugar coat anything, I love you for that, I don't deserve you sometimes.
Mary: I love you, even when I'm yelling at you to stop saying ish about my boyfriend, you always told it how it is, and reminded me how I deserved better. Ohhh and if it wasn't for you I would of never really known what a p.o.s. he was... so I guess I owe you a HUGE thanks(:
Dustin: Thank you for always being there to save me from my tragic love problems. Thank you for reminding me that I'm young and it isn't the end of the world, and for always telling me I deserve happiness, not misery. I really would be so lost without you, you always give the best advice and are such an amazing friend.
Dana: For answering all of my annoying questions and being there when I needed someone to talk to. You are always 110% honest with me, even if it wasn't pretty. I seriously owe you!
Josh: You are a prime example of how men treat women, you are the perfect boyfriend and you aren't afraid to call me an idiot when I am acting like one. Thank youu!
And a BIG thank you to everyone who is there for me. Means more then you will ever know.
hugs&&kisses.
Dana: For answering all of my annoying questions and being there when I needed someone to talk to. You are always 110% honest with me, even if it wasn't pretty. I seriously owe you!
Josh: You are a prime example of how men treat women, you are the perfect boyfriend and you aren't afraid to call me an idiot when I am acting like one. Thank youu!
And a BIG thank you to everyone who is there for me. Means more then you will ever know.
hugs&&kisses.