Destination

We have all been here. This very cross road even; caught between the unknown and certainty. We know that if we go left its going to take us on the path we are supposed to be on, leading us to our destination. We also know that going right is forbidden but for some reason we can't help but wonder why? Is it pure curiosity or the trill of doing something you know you aren't supposed to?

I know I have been here more than once and almost every time I've decided to wander, straying me further and further from my destination. With each detour there's been a story; some that have pushed me, straightened me even, and some that have made me question every decision leading me up to that very moment. But when I fell, I got back up, even more prepared for the next time something tries to bring me down. When I was pushed, I found a straight within myself to push back. Even my pride of not asking for help when I couldn't find the way back served a greater purpose somehow. And every single time I've been lost, it gave me time to think and ponder who I am as a person and why I'm here. With all of those lessons learned came light, eventually leading me back on the path I was intended to take.

Right now I'm torn between two completely different paths. One, is the path I have planned out in my head of the things I know I want and need to do in order to make me happy. The other is one I know I will be on but my question is when? How does anyone know which path is right for them? I know for a fact I wouldn't be the person I am today without all of those scenic routes I took along the way. I needed to take those wrong turns in order to grow and mature to understand the path I'm on a little more. If I decide to continue to wonder and grow an opportunity will be missed and I will have to deal with the repercussions of that. But maybe that's the point? Like somehow dealing with the doubt and pain of actually standing up for what I want is the lesson I need to learn. In life we are going to hurt and disappoint more people than we'll even remember. But isn't there something a little tragic in that? Making decisions on your life based upon the approval and feelings of someone else?

The strange thing is I'm not at all scared for the future. I know that no matter what path I take I know it will make me better person. The past is living proof of that. And if there is one thing I've learned over these last few months is everything happens by fate, not chance. People come and they go, leaving you with a little part of them that changed you. They were placed there for a reason and sometimes we don't realize why right away but one day something will happen and a light bulb will go off in your head and it all will make a little more sense. You'll think, "That is why they were placed into my life" and you'll grow from it.

There is a decision that has to be made, and I know in my heart what I have to do in order to be happy. And sometimes its okay to be selfish, its okay to disappoint those you care about to find yourself. They don't have to deal with it for the rest of their lives, you do. So do what makes you happy, take wrong turns and detours because no matter what happens, you'll end up on the path you're supposed to be on one way or another. I truly believe that.