Can I just tell the world how much I love my life?
Well, I do. I have been here for three weeks already and I wouldn't change a thing. I have met SO many new people and love love love my classes! Yes, I am already that loud girl that everyone in the class knows and the professors make fun of. Its chill I guess.
Lets
talk roommates. I will not lie to you I was terrified. A house full of
SIX GIRLS?! I automatically assumed the worst but in this short amount
of time we have become extremely close. They are the ones I wake up to
and get in bed with until we finally decide to get ready. They are also
the idiots who snap chat me for instructions on how to use the freaking
coffee maker and look homeless with me. I guess you could say I
absolutely adore them.
Its
not all fun and games, my classes aren't easy but I'm finding a balance
between having fun and passing my classes. So far, so good.
I
will say its taken me a really, really long time to get to this place
in my life, I am truly happy. I finally got it right you know? I've been
known for making the wrong decision every, single, time but not
anymore.
The
thing is, I have already gone through the party phase of my life, I
went through the boy crazy one too, so now its just me and I'm okay with
all of it. Its crazy to look back on my life this time last year or
even the year before that and to see how far I've come. I have made so
much progress and its nice to feel the way I feel and having people say,
"Tabi I am so proud of you, its taken you awhile but you finally pulled
your head out of your ass." And no, I'm not exaggerating. Still, its
nice to have the people you care about most seeing that you are making a
difference and you are trying. I am still figuring out who I am but its
getting easier as the days go on. I know what I will and will not stand
for, and at the end of the day I know what I am worth. (Its a lot by the
way, in case you were wondering.)
I'm
not saying I won't ever party again or think about dating a boy, but
right now they aren't my top priority. I love that I don't have to
depend on anyone right now, that I'm taking these steps to my future and
accomplishing the things I want. Its funny too, people have said things
like "Oh I think I'm better then them because I am down at school" or
"I've changed" but that's not it at all, those who really truly know me,
know how hard its taken me to get here. They know that I have messed up
a lot and have struggled to find my place in this world and how hard I
have worked for this. I am happy so yes I'm going to flaunt it, and if
they think that means I'm better then them, I'm sorry for that. And
maybe I have changed, maybe I'm not the same girl I was 3 weeks ago but
I'm okay with that. I'm okay with who I am and with the person I'm
becoming. I know I have a big heart and care so much about other people,
and that I can be a bitch and talk way too much. But on the other hand,
I'd rather be this version of myself than the lost, confused, non
committal girl I was last year.
All I'm saying is, I'm happy. I have goals and I intend to follow through with them.