I've built up all these lies in my head that bad things don't happen, that its all done for TV shows and movies, but in reality its not like that at all. Naive much? Maybe, but I'm happier this way. I do better believing that everything is okay, because usually it is.
Today I found out one of my good friends growing up died, but not the normal suicide you hear about now a days or tragic death from an OD. Nope, this was a homicide. Doesn't that word just give you the chills? Its like a bad episode of Law and order, but worse, this is real life. So her sister texted me to make sure I was okay, cute right? Its her sister that passed away and she wanted to make sure I was okay and in all honesty, I thought it was some kind of joke, like someone was just going to pop out and say "Gotcha!" But they didn't, and all I had were more questions. At first we weren't 100% sure it was her, the name hadn't been released the the press and there was still an ongoing investigation, so I had hope. Hope that it wasn't her and that she was fine, but then it happened, her sister texted me a picture of the article that confirmed my every fear, it was indeed her. Phillipa Evans-Lopez, she was a mom, daughter, sister and friend. This was the girl that I use to spend my every waking moment with growing up, she was so outgoing and literally didn't care what anyone thought. Believe it or not, I use to be SO shy, but she told me to just stop, stop worrying and caring about everyone else and just do me. I was so envious of her because people were just drawn to her, how could they not be? She was gorgeous and bubbly and didn't have a care in the world. This girl was once my best friend.
Its no secret she has been struggling these last couple of years, and of course for the rest of my life I'm going to wonder if there was more I could of done to help her, but the fact is shes gone, someone took her from us and that to me is what hurts the most. I couldn't imagine anyone being so cruel and evil as to take someone else's life. I just can't.
I'm telling myself shes in a better place, because she is. Her life wasn't easy here on earth so I know she is laughing and having the best time up there looking down at us, I know in my heart shes happy.
